


The best little sex shop in Soho

by beans_on_toast



Series: Andy's little sex shop [1]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Sex Shop, Andy owns a sex shop, But they're not immortal, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Immortal Wives Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Lawyer!Quynh, Quynh POV, Though they are wives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:40:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27108106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beans_on_toast/pseuds/beans_on_toast
Summary: Quynh Scythia-Ngo is away on an important case when her darling wife, Andy, has a bit of a crisis. A crisis in which she quits her job at Copley's security firm and buys a sex shop.Quynh doesn't get it, but she loves her wife.(alternative title: Quynh is 85% of Andromache's impulse control)
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko
Series: Andy's little sex shop [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1992520
Comments: 25
Kudos: 135





	The best little sex shop in Soho

**Author's Note:**

> Did you know that Soho is one of the only boroughs in London that are allowed to have sex shops? Well, you do now!
> 
> That's also the only thing I know. I have zero knowledge of international human right laws or actually owning a sex shop. But lets not let that stop us!
> 
> I just wanted some soft, (non) immortal wives, okay?
> 
> (There are some sexy times at the very end. If you want to skip, finish up at 'They spent hours reacquainting themselves.')

‘You did what?’ Quỳnh croaks out, pressing the palms of her hands to her eyes and rubs. She squints at the clock on her night stand. 3:08 glares back at her. This is definitely not a good dream then. Quỳnh hasn’t quite ruled on whether or not it’s a nightmare.

‘I quit my job.’ Andy’s voice is slightly off, even on top of the electronic distortion from the dubious signal. She’s, thankfully, speaking in Vietnamese. It’s too early for Quỳnh to try and translate.

‘That’s what I thought you said.’ Quỳnh sits up and turns on the bedside lamp. She rests her back against the headboard, propping her phone up on her bent knees. ‘Then I hoped maybe this was all a dream. _Then_ I realised that if I was dreaming about my wife calling me at three o’clock in the morning, she would be naked.’ 

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.’ Andy sounds so apologetic and it makes Quỳnh’s heart _ache._

‘Oh darling, it’s okay.’ Quỳnh squeezes the phone in her hands, as if her wife could feel it. ‘You can call me anytime. There is nothing I love more than hearing your voice. I’m just in another country. It’s not like I’m lost at sea.’ The little quirked grin she gets from Andy warms Quỳnh to her toes. ‘I just wish…doesn’t matter. Are you okay?’

‘Yeah, I think I am. I mean, after I did it, I went directly to Book’s and cried for about an hour, but he got the good vodka down.’

‘He knows you well.’ Quỳnh says and makes a mental note to text the Frenchman tomorrow, to get the full story.

‘He does. He’s followed me home, keeping a good eye on me.’ Andy switches to English and raises her voice. Booker is still there, it seems. ‘I was gonna wait until tomorrow, your time, to call you…' 

'Well, it is after midnight here.' Quỳnh says drily. Which startles a snort out of Andy, just as she'd hoped it would.

'Fuck, I just wanted to hear your voice Quỳnh.' Andy moves the phone, so all Quỳnh can see is her forehead. Andy takes a staggering breath and centres her face in the frame again. 'But... I think I’m feeling better about it now. You know I’ve been struggling with all of Merrick’s new practices and SOPs.’ 

‘You may have mentioned it, once or twice.’ Quỳnh says, noncommittally. Andy laughs properly at that. In the nearly two years since Stephen Merrick’s pharmacy company bought out the exclusive use of Copley’s security firm, Merrick’s _unique_ business practices had been the subject of a great many discussions in their household. Mostly loud, sweary discussions.

‘And now with Copley-’ The blurry video of Andy freezes then, with Andy’s palm dragged half way down her face. Quỳnh almost wants to laugh at the exaggerated way Andy’s eyes are pulled down on the video, but is too busy trying to parse out what her wife is saying. Her words slow down and then speed up as the connection reboots itself.

‘With James what? Andy? You cut out dear, the connection isn’t great on my phone.’ Quỳnh glanced at the clock again. Why there would be any issues with the internet at three thirty AM was a question for another time.

‘He just announced he was retiring. Said he wanted to spend more time with Anne.’

‘Hmm, must be nice for some people to spend more time with their wives.’ Quỳnh teases.

‘My heart, I _just_ quit my job. I now have all the time in the world for you. It’s not my fault you’re halfway around the world.’

‘I know, I’m sorry. I would give anything to be there.’ Quỳnh says and she means it. 

Technology is great, it really is. When Quỳnh was little, her parents had to aggressively schedule everything months in advance for the bi-annual call with her grandmother back in Trà Vinh. Being able to hear Andy’s voice and to see her face (even if it was blurry and patchy and occasionally she got stuck in some less than beautiful expressions) is a godsend. But it has been five weeks since Quỳnh had held her wife in her arms and she misses her.

‘No you wouldn’t.’ Andy grins and Quỳnh traces it with her thumb. ‘My dear, lovely, amazing wife would travel to the ends of the earth if she thought she could right some wrongs. I knew what I signed up for when I married a human rights attorney.’

‘ _International_ human rights attorney to you.’ Quỳnh points out smugly. ‘Though I was merely a lowly student of law when you married me.’

‘Best decision I ever made. And I have made some very good decisions.’

‘Andromache, beloved, you just quit your job out of the blue.’ Quỳnh bites her lip. ‘Do you have any idea what you’re going to do?’

‘I don’t know. I’ll think of something. Maybe I’ll work at Booker’s pub for a bit.’ Quỳnh hears a muffled French shout in the background. She’s too tired to translate it properly, but given the hand gesture Andy returns, it was not a job offer. ‘I’ll think of something. I just couldn’t keep working there. With Copley not there, who knows what Merrick and Keane will get away with? What they’re trying to do… I wanted to help people, to _protect people_. Not be some billionaire's lackey.’ 

‘I know. And of course I understand, my heart. If you keep working with ink, you’ll also be stained black.’ Quỳnh says sagely, slipping back into Vietnamese. She rests her chin on her palm. Andy cackles.

‘You just sounded exactly like your mother.’

‘I did _not_. You take that back!’ Quỳnh sits up indignantly. 

‘You _did_. That is exactly what your mother said when you told her we were dating.’ Booker’s disembodied laughter echoes out the speakers.

‘She did not say that when I told her we were dating. She said that when she had to bail us out of jail.’ Quỳnh glares. ‘Which was entirely your fault.’

‘Oh darling, are you saying I’m a bad influence?’ That damned grin is back and, curse it all, Quỳnh still wanted to drag her fingers along it. 

‘I’m going back to bed now.' She says primly while over exaggerating a yawn. 'You should as well. _You_ have to start job hunting in the morning.'

'I love you.' Andy says quietly in Quỳnh’s language, pressing the phone to her forehead again. It was one of the first sayings she made Quỳnh teach her.

'I love you too.' Quỳnh mimics the movement as she replies in Georgian, like she always does. For a moment, after Andy hangs up, she lets herself imagine she’s back home, sharing Andy’s breath. Drinking red wine with Booker. With a sigh, she turns off the light and snuggles back down under the covers. But it's not her wife's arms and sleep eludes her for a long time. 

\---

It takes her a moment to realise that the noise is her phone ringing. She fishes her headphones out of her purse and rings Andy right back. 

‘Hello my heart.’ Quỳnh says as soon as Andy answers on the second ring. ‘Sorry I missed your call. I had to get my headphones out.’

‘Not a problem dear.’ The sun is to Andy’s back and she shifts sideways so Quỳnh can actually see her face. She pushes her sunglasses up on top of her head and smiles. ‘Wait, are you still at the office?’

‘Yes, we’ve had a last minute surge of paperwork to deal with thanks to _you know who._ ’ The venom dripping from Quỳnh’s words make Andy snort. ‘Nearly half a year of work and he nearly ruins it, the-' Andy has never gotten an exact translation of that particular Viatnamese phrase, but she can read the tone well enough.

‘Yeah, I read the article. I can’t believe you called the foreign secretary that.’

‘I actually called him a cockwomble, but I think something got lost in translation.’ Quỳnh says.

‘Oh, yeah, now that I believe. Booker cut out the clipping and posted it above the bar. We are all very proud.’ Andy says, her voice filled with endless love for her wife. ‘But, that’s not why I called. I was hoping you had a chance to look over the documents I sent last week?’

'Yeah, I managed a quick scan. Oh thanks Sam.’ Quỳnh pauses as one of her colleagues hands her a fresh cup of tea. He nods and waves at Andy on the phone. Andy waves back. ‘Sorry. I did look at them, but I would suggest having Lykon give them a quick pass over too. Commercial and real estate law wasn’t my strong suit.'

‘Lykon, Lykon… hmm.’ Andy scrunches her face up and Quỳnh is overcome with a sudden desire to rub her nose against the screen at the adorableness of it. She takes a sip of her tea instead and nearly scalds her tongue. ‘I _think_ I used to know a Lykon. All I seem to remember is a blinding smile, sound familiar?’ Quỳnh shakes her head, but she understands. Lykon’s just been promoted and the life of a barrister hardly leaves time for a social life. That’s something she and Andy know _intimately_.

‘You know I trust you Andy. Implicitly.’ It goes without saying, really, but Quỳnh remembers the time in their relationship when that wasn’t the case. They worked hard to be together, for this marriage. They _still_ work hard. And sometimes she likes to say it out loud as a reminder to both of them. ‘If this is what you want to do, I support you one hundred percent.’

'Well, that’s good news. Because I signed the contract today.’ Andy turns the camera to her left. Quỳnh sees an unassuming shopfront, with the safety grate still pulled down. ‘And here we are!' 

It’s a modest sized shop, slightly hard to see properly as the overhead fluorescent lights flicker on. The dimensions had been listed in the paperwork, but Quỳnh hadn’t been able to conceptualise the space. She is mildly impressed with the openness of it. She is surprised to see some full shelves and hanging displays, until she vaguely remembers something about the previous owners leaving stock as well. Andy does a quick sweep with her phone, before flipping the camera round and smiling. 

‘What do you think? The old owners left the cash register for us, which is helpful.’ Andy carries on, pointing out the things she’s talking about. And Quỳnh is trying to pay attention, really she is. But something has caught her eye: the main display behind her wife. She squints, the video blurs slightly as Andy waves her hand. Then, suddenly, Quỳnh can clearly see the shapes and her mouth drops open. 

It's truly a miracle that Quỳnh manages to put her cup of tea down without spilling it all over her case notes, because her eyes are glued to her phone screen.

'Andromache Scythia-Ngo, darling, love of my life,’ Quỳnh says slowly. She looks around, at her very _full_ office, and switches into Georgian. ‘Are those _butt plugs_?' 

Andy visibly winces on the phone. ‘I know that’s a literal translation, but that’s not how you’d actually say it-’

‘ _Andromache!_ ’ A co-worker makes a questioning hum behind her, undoubtedly at the Quỳnh’s tone. She manages to throw him a quick, hopefully reassuring smile. She whispers a quick prayer that no one in the office speaks Georgian because she couldn't even begin to explain this conversation.

'Yes, those are butt plugs,’ she points, ‘and some dildos and some vibrators.'

Quỳnh maneuvers her phone down near her chest so it’s out of sight of her colleagues, even if it gives her a very attractive double chin. ‘Andy, what kind of shop did you buy?’ She keeps her tone light as she heads out of the office and onto the tiny balcony designated for smoking.

'It was in the paper work, Quỳnh. It carries... an assortment of goods for the distinguished adult connoisseur.' Andy says, suspiciously, in English. Which means it’s likely something she read or heard and can’t be bothered to translate into one of their other shared languages.

‘Are you trying to tell me you bought a _sex shop?_ ’ There are a lot of emotions going through Quỳnh right now; amusement, confusion, disbelief, and little embarrassment that she somehow missed it when reading the documents. But at the forefront of it all, sheer overwhelming _fondness_ for her wife. If anyone, anywhere in the world would quit their job at a highly paid security firm and then decide to buy a failing sex shop, it would be her Andy.

She loves this woman, this maddening, beautiful, terrifying woman, with the entirety of her heart.

'Booker speaks very highly of owning his own business.' Andy sniffs. ‘He says the entrepreneurial spirit is very fulfilling. It’s about the joy one gets out of good, hard graft.’ 

'Booker owns a pub because he gets free booze.'

'There are benefits to this type of enterprise as well.' Andy says with a smirk. Quỳnh feels a hot curl in her stomach at the implication.

'Quỳnh, seriously though.’ Andy runs her hand through her hair. Quỳnh brushes at the stray hair across Andy’s forehead with her finger. ‘I saw this was for sale and I thought, maybe, I can do some good? Think about you as a young woman. Think of us at university. Imagine coming to a sex shop and talking to a queer person. Think of how amazing that would be?' 

_Damn this impossible woman that I love_ , Quỳnh thinks, _I would follow her to the ends of the earth._ She smiles, hoping that conveys the depth of her feelings. What she says, however, is: 'And I suppose you get free sex toys?’

Andy’s smirk widens and turns down right filthy. 'And I get free sex toys.' 

Quỳnh coughs lightly and suddenly feels too warm.

\---

‘I am sorry I had to miss the grand opening.’ Quỳnh flops onto her bed next to her open laptop. Andy laughs at the face she pulls as she finishes rubbing in her night cream. ‘Or re-opening I guess.’ Andy is eating lunch in her new office. The office of the sex shop that, after two months of hard graft, she just opened. Quỳnh still sometimes to gets the urge to laugh when she thinks about it too hard.

‘It’s alright. Booker helped and he brought along a friend, Joe. Apparently, Book knows him from the graffiti scene.’

‘Oh, is he Banksy?’ Quỳnh asks, lotioning up her legs. Whatever Andy was going to say dies in her throat as she watches Quỳnh smooth her hands up and down the tanned expanse of skin.

‘ _Shit_. I miss you.’ Andy tilts her head back against her chair, her eyes closed. ‘What I wouldn’t give to touch you.’

Quỳnh has a similar reaction while staring at the strong curve of Andy’s throat. When was the last time she kissed and bit and marked that glorious neck? ‘The feeling is definitely mutual. I’m sorry this case is taking so long, if I’d known what was going to happen when I agreed to take it… I hope you can forgive me.’ She toys with the collar of her dressing robe. 

‘Hey now,’ Andy points her fork at Quỳnh with a stern expression. ‘None of that. I get to tell people my wife is off saving the world-’

‘It’s just one person-’

‘One person is _someone’s_ world. Like you are mine. I just miss you. _But_ ,’ She stabs a piece of chicken and takes an emphatic bite to underscore her point. Quỳnh giggles. ‘I was telling you about the shop.’

‘You were, _my world_.’ Quỳnh replies in Georgian and loves the way a blush creeps across Andy’s nose. She sits up and unwinds her towel from her hair.

‘The shop is doing really well. Joe has offered to do a few shifts. He's also a painter, but this is a bit of extra cash. And I’ve taken Nicky on as an assistant manager of sorts.’

‘Nicky?’ Quỳnh rubs the towel through her hair, squeezing out the last bit of water before she starts to plait it.

‘Yeah, he started to help Booker out at his pub a few months before you left? Tall, lanky, big nose, _gorgeous eyes_ ,’ Andy ticks off her fingers as she lists. Quỳnh searches her memories of the bartenders at the Old Guard. To be fair, she was rarely sober at the pub and if she was paying any attention to the bar staff, it wasn’t to the male ones.

‘You know,’ Andy tries again, ‘The Italian? Nicolò. With the earrings…’ _Ah_ , Nicolò sparks a memory. A face starts to swim to the forefront of Quỳnh’s mind. She pinches the bridge of her nose and takes a deep breath.

‘Andy, my love, tell me you did not hire _an ex-priest_ to help you run your sex shop.’ Quỳnh is not sure if she wants to laugh or cry.

‘I don’t think he was ever actually a priest. Let me check.’ Andy leans off screen and raises her voice. ‘Nicky! Nicky! Hey _Nicolò_!’

‘Andromache, don’t you _dare_.’ Quỳnh hisses, just as she hears approaching footsteps on the video. Andy’s head swims back into focus, followed by the blurry face of Nicky as the video adjusts.

‘Oh, hello Quỳnh! Are you enjoying your trip?’ He waves, nonchalantly holding a ball gag in his other hand. Quỳnh waves back weakly, and quickly checks behind her. She knows it’s irrational and _she knows_ she’s alone in her hotel room, but that’s hardly the most bizarre thing about this call.

‘It’s going well, thank you. You’re going by Nicky now?’

‘Yes, it’s easier for people to pronounce’ He says with a shrug.

‘Quỳnh was wondering if you were actually a priest-’ Andy begins.

‘I didn’t actually ask that!’ Quỳnh tries to interject.

‘And why I would hire a priest to work in the sex shop.’ Andy finishes with a smirk. Quỳnh is tempted to close her laptop on that smug face, but she’s honest enough with herself to admit that she _loves_ that look on her wife’s face. Andy in a devious mood usually ends very well for Quỳnh.

‘I was never actually a priest, didn’t finish seminary. And even if I hadn’t explored new things _since_ my time there, there is absolutely nothing in this shop that can shock me worse than confessional.’ He tilts his head to the side and gives a small, apologetic grin. ‘Sorry, customer. Nice to see you Quynh.’ 

‘See, not a problem.’ Andy says, once they’re alone again. 'And he's got a really calming manner, puts people at ease.' Andy taps her finger against her chin. 'He would have been a great priest. If not for the copious amounts of gay sex.'

Quỳnh can't help herself. She laughs at that and Andy's face lights up. God, she misses her wife.

'So,' Andy drags out the word in a tone that has Quỳnh pressing her thighs together. ‘Just out of the shower?’

Quỳnh is already shaking her head, pointedly ignoring the way Andy’s eyes trail down her neck and over the deep vee of her bathrobe. ‘No, sweetie. Absolutely not. You are at _work_.’

‘I am at work. In my own shop.’ She raises one perfect eyebrow. ‘A shop that sells sex toys.’ And doesn’t that just send a shiver of desire down Quỳnh’s spine. 

‘Good night, dear.’ Quỳnh manages not to sound breathy with want, but it’s a near thing. It’s already late and she has to be up early and she does not have time for this right now. And it won’t be as good as the real thing anyway. Quỳnh reaches out to trace Andy’s face on the screen. ‘I’ll be home soon enough.’

‘It’s never soon enough.’ Andy replies. 

’I promise it won’t be much longer.’ Quỳnh says just before she ends the call.

\----

They spent hours reacquainting themselves. Touching and kissing and feeling every inch of one another. Quỳnh licked at the small patch of skin behind Andy’s knees that always made her moan. Andy brushed the underside of Quỳnh’s breast whilst gently worrying the other nipple with her teeth. She’d alternated sides until Quỳnh had nearly come from that overwhelming sensation alone. 

Almost a year apart meant they were barely able to get Quynh’s skirt hiked up around her waist before they tumbled onto the bed. It meant that Quỳnh had broken from their first kiss with a slightly bloody lip; that Quynh had nipped and sucked at Andy’s neck until two stark bruises bloomed under the skin; that after Quỳnh came with a stuttering cry, Andy licked her fingers.

Quỳnh went on the offensive then to get her own taste, dragging Andy’s trousers off and tipping her back on the mattress. Their second and third orgasms had followed in much the same way.

Andy has decided, apparently, that they need to savour this next one. 

‘Where - _oh god_ \- where did you find this thing?’ Quỳnh’s breath comes out in small, harsh gasps. Her hair is undone, partially matting to her neck. She pushes it away from her face and looks at Andy through half lidded eyes.

Her wife is, simply put, stunning; pale skin stretched over hard muscle, short dark hair falling over her eyes, cheekbones that could make Michaelango cry and pale eyes Quỳnh wants to get lost in. Being caught with the whole force of Andromache Scythia-Ngo’s attention is like being caught in a tidal wave, and Quỳnh Scythia-Ngo is happily drowning.

‘The manufacturer sent it as a sample,’ Andy says with a wicked grin as she moves the vibrator just slightly left, hitting Quỳnh exactly where she wants. Quỳnh arches her back, hands scrambling across the sheets, her own stomach, Andy’s shoulders. Just as her wife’s hands start to dig uncomfortably hard into her skin, Andy moves the toy away again. Quỳnh keens, muttering swears and begging _please_ in at least five different languages.

‘You fucking tease.’ Her words get caught in a moan as Andy dips two fingers inside of her. ‘I still cannot believe - _Andromache_ , _yes_ \- that you opened a sex shop. Fuck, darling.’

‘We can’t all be beautiful, perfect, gorgeous, wealthy lawyers.’ Andy punctuates each word with a kiss down Quỳnh’s breasts and stomach. ‘And sometimes, we need to quit our job and open a shop as part of our midlife crisis.’ Andy smiles _that_ smile up at her. _That_ smile would melt Quỳnh’s insides even if she wasn’t pinned, naked and sweating, with her wife’s hot breath on her thighs.

‘You are not old enough for a mid life crisis.’ Quỳnh manages to pant out. Andy doesn’t say anything, just twists her wrists and sucks a hickey on Quỳnh’s thigh. Quỳnh whines and thrashes her head back on the pillows. This is not fair. Andy is far too coherent.

‘Just for that, my loving wife, I’m going to let you come.’ Andy emphasizes her point by placing her mouth on her wife’s clit and oh, _oh_ , Quỳnh is unravelling. She tangles her hands in Andy’s hair and tugs. Andy follows the silent instruction and rises up to catch her mouth, Andy’s lips still slick with the taste of her. Quỳnh moans as Andy works her through the aftershocks. She nudges her knee into Andy’s side when the sensation gets too much and Andy draws her hand away as they lay panting against one another.

Maybe, just maybe, she could get used to the sex shop thing.

Quỳnh’s not certain how much later it is, could be minutes or could be centuries, when they manage to move their heavy limbs. She’s curled up on Andy’s chest, listening to the comforting rhythm of her heart. She’s _here_ and Quỳnh draws lazy patterns against her sweat-soaked skin, because she can. As she trails her fingernail over a nipple, Andy growls over her head.

‘I love you, but give me a minute to recover. I’m _old_.’

‘Nonsense, my heart.’ Quỳnh twists her head up so she can place a chaste kiss on her beloved’s lips. ‘You are going to live forever.’

‘Only as long as you’re there with me.’ Andy brushes hair away from Quỳnh’s face. The look of pure devotion in her eyes makes Quỳnh’s breath hitch.

‘Just you and me.’ Quỳnh presses a hand to Andy’s face, trying to pour all of her love into the touch.

‘Until the end.’ Andy agrees.

**Author's Note:**

> Did I put in loads of little easter eggs and nods to canon? Yes I did and I loved every minute of it.The author regrets _nothing._
> 
> This all came out of a discord conversation that spawned this [beautiful collaboration.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27082816)
> 
> Thanks to everyone on the discord for encouraging this and to marbletopempire for giving my first attempt at smut a quick look over! <3
> 
> I'm a little bit in love with this verse and have at least two other fics planned, so I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to pop by and say hi on [tumblr.](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/hyper-fixate)


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